Friday, June 27, 2008

women and weight

So I have this friend who told me a long time ago that she doesn't want to discuss weight loss with anyone unless she herself is skinny. So I've abided by her wishes. I don't talk about my successes unless she brings it up (I share with you guys instead!). But the more I've thought about it, the more I realize how selfish she is - because now, four months before a cruise that she booked - she's suddenly in "must lose 40 pounds in 4 months mode" and wants to brag about every pound she loses! Being a braggart is my main pet peeve as far as friends go. A woman who constantly feels that she must be in competition with me is my second. I'm starting to rethink this entire friendship altogether...

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her that she's finally found something to make her want to finally get control over her eating. Even if it is a completely superficial reason, in the end she will be healthier for it. I've warned her against losing too quickly. For someone who's read every weight loss book ever printed, you'd think she'd know this by now.

But no. She goes back to her deprevation and restrictive dieting on South Beach (and eats Ricotta cheese all day) and back to her treadmill bingeing. Whatever works, right?

Sigh.

The problem is...and we all know this...it doesn't work! She'll be over it in a few months. Perhaps she will make it until she gets home from the cruise, but as soon as the motivation of the cruise is gone, so will be the results of all of her efforts. She is as stubborn as the day is long when I try to give her advice. It's her way or the highway. South Beach has worked for her in the short term. And like any 'diet', it stops working when you stop following it. She's made fun of me for the whole Weight Watchers "not a diet" campaign arguing that if you can't eat what you want all the time, it's a diet. I stress to her that switching your focus to less restriction with portion control is key. But I can't win with her. The only argument I hold is the final proof: that I've lost 50 pounds over two years with gradual changes and have kept it off. She has gained.

Do any of you guys have friends like this? I just don't know how to handle it anymore. Especially now that she's in her diet mode and wants to talk about it ALL the time. At least when she's eating everything under the moon, I don't have to have the discussions.

Anyway, I found a great quote today I would love to email to her (and might just yet):

"If you can't see yourself eating or exercising a certain way for the rest of your life — say, consuming raw food and running five miles every day — you shouldn't be doing it to lose weight in the first place"

LOVE it!

3 comments:

VeggieGal said...

Yup HAD friends like that... I think at some point you re-evaluate what the glue is that holds that friendship together and for me, there just wasn't enough there...

CaRoLyN said...

If she's not willing to encourage and support you during your journey, why should she expect that from you?

ThickChick said...

Haha, totally! I know people like this. And truth be told, like WW, South Beach (or several others) *CAN* be a totally workable, gradual, long-term, reasonable plan, but not if one chooses to eat only ricotta cheese and otherwise binge on exercise and depravation. So silly.

I'm sure I've been guilty of it before too. Live and learn right? One day she too will come to terms with the fact that this whole game is loooooooooooong term and she should aim to be fit and healthy for life...not just for a cruise.